There is somewhat of a vicious cycle to worrying- we realize that our worries can consume our lives, yet we also subconsciously believe that our worrying somehow helps us to avoid having bad things happen to us or those we love. It can be very difficult to let go of these thoughts, as we have likely planted them in our lives long ago- they have deep roots. If you find your life is consumed by anxiety and worrying, I encourage you to contact me or find a local therapist. We can help you to uproot these deep distortions about the power of worrying, and walk you towards a healthier perspective on life. If you are not ready to take that step, I offer you some suggestions on how you can begin to manage your own anxiety;
1. You can try to stop worrying by immediately questioning the worrying thought.
- What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true?
- Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?
- What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen?
- If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?
- Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?
- What would I say to a friend who had this worry?
2. You can also take control of the time you spend worrying by creating a specific time you set aside for worrying. Make this time the same every day, and not too long- set a time limit of twenty minutes to a half an hour. Try not to make this time right before bed. During this time, allow yourself to worry freely about everything and anything that is on your mind. When the time is up, put all of the worries away until the next worry session.
3. Once you have this time set for worrying, you can postpone the worrying thoughts during the day to that time. When the thoughts come, acknowledge them, but immediately tell yourself that you will revisit the issue during the time you have set aside- and then put it out of your mind. This takes work, and discipline, but you can do it. If it helps, write the worry down on a list to go over during the time you have set aside.
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”
Epictetus
